| At MyDearDiary.com HipMonkey posted a list of the weird laws shown below in small blue letters. The larger black letters repesent my commentary on these laws.
A law in Faibanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.
Moose should have sex in the alleys like everyone else.
In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.
With each other? Gives new meaning to Fighting like cats and dogs.
In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.
Florida legislators are more protective of their mistresses than of their wives.
If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.
Talk about a quickie! Sounds like it's all hokey and no pokey--unless you're pokey.
Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.
Lincoln freed the slaves everywhere but in his home state.
A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.
That's because once when a man asked his wife if she was game, she said yes and so he shot her.
In Ames Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.
Whereas, in Salt Lake City, Utah a husband may not take more than three wives while lying in bed with his beer.
A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.
I'm lucky I don't live in Alexandria, Minnesota.
In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.
Lawn services advise it's better for your lawn to sprinkle it in the morning light.
A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weights more than three pounds, two ounces.
Josephine Baker got around this law by hanging bananas from her waistband, and thereby gave new meaning to sex-a-peel.
Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.
Hastings makes waistings. The law doesn't say where on your body you have to wear the nightshirts.
Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.
One more reason to do it in the back seat. I guess it's no horns for the horney.
During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.
In Carlsbad, New Mexico the number of date drapes has risen.
In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.
What are the odds of a condom breaking?--ask your local bookie.
In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.
The punishment for this crime is getting slapped on the wrist with a wooden ruler by Sister Mary Aloysius.
Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.
Only truly mutual threesomes are acceptable.
In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.
But he may praise the Lord as loudly as he wishes.
In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.
This law was necessitated by rising healthcare costs resulting from so many tolltakers having to have quarters surgically removed from their butts.
Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.
Who cares? I lost my virginity in a twin bed--Twice!--First when I was alone, and then again later when I was not.
In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.
Gotta keep the riffraff out of airports! Let them go to bus stations where they belong.
A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.
This law only serves to promote gay triage.
No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.
This law was passed to keep Madonna out of jail when she was at the height of her popularity.
In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)
In Washington "run for the border!" is more than a slogan for Taco Bell.
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
Sounds like grounds for impeachment! In advising the Presidents on this issue, I wonder, what Billy Graham's position would be.
In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm.
This was a typo. Actually it was meant to read "No man shall shoot his gun UNTIL his female partner is having a sexual orgasm." This law grew out of the Feminist Movement. Viagra has kept a lot of guys out of jail. |
